What Makes a Good Parent?
Parenting Truths for the Early Years
When you become a parent, the pressure starts early.
From the moment you announce your pregnancy (or even think about it), the opinions roll in. Books, blogs, strangers in the supermarket - EVERYONE seems to have thoughts on how to be a “good” parent!
And here’s the thing…
Most of that advice?
Conflicting. Confusing. And completely overwhelming.
There’s no universal definition of a good parent. But here’s what I know after 25 years, four children and supporting hundreds of families:
A good parent is not the one with the perfectly behaved toddler.
A good parent is not the one who has their baby sleeping through the night by three months.
A good parent is not the one who never raises their voice, never forgets PE day, and always cuts the sandwiches into dinosaur shapes.
A good parent is the one who keeps showing up.
Who listens. Loves. And tries - quite often through gritted teeth!
Who messes up and says sorry. Who learns. Who adapts.
Who knows that getting it “right” every time isn’t the goal - it’s getting it right often enough that your child feels safe, seen, and loved.
The Myth of the Perfect Parent: Why It’s Time to Rethink Modern Parenting Expectations
There’s a huge pressure - especially in the early years - to be everything.
Calm. Patient. Organised. Fun. Consistent. Playful. Present. The list goes on!
And it’s just not possible. Not all the time.
Perfection doesn’t make a good parent. Connection, curiosity and care do.
It’s about being present, responsive, and truly tuned in.
About repairing when things go wrong.
About choosing the relationship over being “right.”
A good parent knows their child - not just the parenting rulebook.
And that means doing what works for your family, not what looks good on paper.
Why “Good Parent” Is a Term We Need to Let Go Of
Parenting in the early years already comes with enough guilt and pressure.
Honestly? It’s time we stopped chasing the label altogether.
The phrase “good parent” is loaded - with guilt, comparison, and impossible standards.
It sets up an imaginary finish line no one can actually reach.
And it makes so many parents feel like they’re not measuring up - when in reality, they’re doing an incredible job.
Instead of asking “Am I a good parent?” try this:
“Does my child feel safe with me?”
“Am I showing up, even when it’s hard?”
“Am I doing the best I can with what I’ve got today?”
Those are the questions that matter.
Let’s stop aiming to be good and start aiming to be real, responsive, and human.
That’s where the magic lives.
The Real Signs of a Good Parent: A Checklist That Actually Matters
Want to know what actually helps children thrive?
Spoiler alert: it’s not flashcards and wooden toys!
It’s this:
Presence. Even 10 undistracted minutes means more than a day of multitasking.
Rupture and repair. Every parent loses it. The key is saying sorry and making it safe again.
Boundaries. Clear, kind, and consistent. Boundaries make kids feel safe.
Delight. Your child needs to know you like them - not just love them.
Rest. Not just theirs - yours too. Because running on fumes isn’t sustainable.
This is what builds connection, confidence, and emotional security - the real foundations of early years development.
Parenting With Confidence: You’re Allowed to Do It Your Way
Want a routine? Great. Prefer to go with the flow? Also great.
Responsive parenting doesn’t mean rigid rules.
Co-sleeping, bottle-feeding, screen time before breakfast - it’s not about what’s “right” or “wrong.”
It’s about what works for you, your child, and your family.
It’s about making choices that feel good in your gut - not ones made out of guilt, fear, or pressure to keep up with what everyone else is doing.
‘Good parenting’ isn’t about ticking boxes.
It’s about knowing your child, trusting yourself and tuning out the noise.
Final Thoughts: What Children Really Need From Us
Being a good parent isn’t about doing it all. It’s about doing what matters, when it matters most.
Your baby doesn’t need perfect. Your toddler doesn’t need Pinterest-worthy.
Your child needs you - in all your messy, loving, human glory.
To your child, you are perfect.
And on the days it feels like it’s all falling apart?
That’s not a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign you’re in the thick of it.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
It is incredibly difficult to be a parent without an extensive support network - on both a family and local level.
Parenting was never meant to be a solo mission.
Free Masterclass: How to Support Your Child in the Early Years
Come to my free masterclass:
“Five Ways You Can Best Support Your Child in the Early Years”
(no flashcards in sight!)
Thursday 5th June at 8pm (UK time) on Zoom
You’ll walk away with practical, connection-first parenting strategies that actually make a difference and every sign-up goes on the waitlist for Raising Wild Ones Club, my brand-new membership for parents navigating the early years.
Founding members get a special rate and one lucky person on the waitlist will win a 1:1 session with me!
