How to Survive the Early Years (With Your Sanity Intact)
10 Tips From a Mum of Four Who’s Been Winging It for 25 Years!
They don’t really warn you, do they, as you’re handed your precious newborn?
The early years are FULL-ON!
Yes, they’re magical. But they’re also messy, noisy, exhausting and full of second-guessing everything.
One minute you’re soaking up cuddles, the next you’re negotiating over socks, snacks, or why the blue cup is suddenly unacceptable.
If you’re knee-deep in the chaos of parenting a baby or toddler, I get it.
I’m a survivor, having made it through, four times, with countless sleepless nights and more “Why?” questions than I care to remember.
The goal isn’t to get it right all the time. It’s to get it right more often than not.
Getting through with your sanity (mostly) intact and accepting that mess, mistakes, and meltdowns (yours and theirs) are part of the deal.
So here it is - my realistic, gently humorous survival guide to the wild early years. Honest, tongue-in-cheek, and full of hard-won wisdom from 25 years in the parenting trenches.
1. Do the boring stuff while your little one is awake
This one’s simple: never waste nap time doing anything you can do when they’re awake.
Nap time is sacred. Nap time is your time.
Laundry? Let them “help.” Sure, it’ll take three times as long, and you’ll end up refolding the same clothes again and again but it gets done eventually, and they feel involved.
Cleaning the kitchen floor (again)? Hand them a toy mop while you use the real one. Let them potter alongside you - most toddlers have the attention span of a gnat and will wander off soon enough.
Then, when they finally sleep?
That’s your golden window. Drink the hot drink. Scroll your phone guilt-free. Stare at a wall in blissful silence.
Whatever you need. You do you.
2. Fill your own cup - every single day
And I mean... every. Single. Day.
I didn’t get this memo until much later. I thought ‘good mums’ did everything all of the time. That needing space made me selfish.
But here’s the truth: you’re not a better parent for running on empty - you’re just more likely to lose it over a dropped raisin.
Take it from someone who was that mum: unfilled cups = shouty mum.
You don’t need a spa day. Just five quiet minutes.
A hot drink. A solo walk around the block. Something that reminds you you’re still a person not just someone’s snack-fetcher or emotional sponge.
When your needs are met, you have more capacity to meet theirs.
This is something I explore in more depth in this blog about why baby sleep feels hard.
3. Keep outings simple (and ideally free)
Toddlers don’t need big days out to be happy. Honestly - save your money, your energy, and your sanity.
A duck in the park? Mind blown.
A puddle? That’s 45 minutes of elite-level fun.
A stick? It’s a toy, a wand, and a drumstick all in one.
Forget the fancy farm park with the £12 entry fee and the meltdown before lunch.
Just pack snacks and head somewhere with mud and things to poke into it. That’s the outing.
4. WhatsApp groups: approach with caution
You’ll eventually be dragged into one (or twelve). Only stay in the ones you really have to.
And when the admin chatter, passive comparison or competitive cupcakes start kicking in? Mute it. You’ll thank me.
You don’t need 38 notifications pinging about World Book Day costumes or who’s bringing what to the preschool fundraiser. Check it when you’re ready.
For more on how connection can actually feel really supportive, read this blog on finding your people.
5. Other people’s opinions are not parenting gospel
You’ll get advice. So much advice.
“Have you tried…”
“You should really…”
Smile. Nod. And roll out your default pre-prepared response:
“Thanks! That works for some, but we’re doing what works for us right now.”
Then mentally lob their comment straight into the bin.
6. Comparison is a thief and a liar
We can’t help it. We all do it. Especially on the tough days. But we never compare fairly.
You’re up to your elbows in toddler tears and you scroll past that mum - pristine home, sleeping baby, home-cooked meals.
You’re seeing one filtered moment. Not the toast-based meltdown five minutes later.
We stack our worst moments against someone’s highlight reel.
Her baby sleeps through? Good for her.
Yours gives cuddles like a koala and sings in the bath.
There’s no perfect baby. There’s just your baby.
7. You don’t have to love every moment
“Enjoy every moment - they grow up so fast!”
You’ve heard it before. And while people mean well, it often just feels like pressure.
You can love your child fiercely and still dread bath time.
You can be grateful and still crave five minutes alone.
That doesn’t make you ungrateful - it makes you real.
Not every stage is magical. Some days are survival mode.
You don’t have to enjoy every moment to be a good parent.
8. Lower the bar (then lower it again)
You don’t need to be productive every moment. You don’t need to be “making memories” all day.
Some days you’ll crush it. Other days, it’s beige food for tea and CBeebies till bedtime.
That’s not failure - that’s life with small humans.
Give yourself permission to ease off. Children don’t need perfection - thank goodness!
They need presence, patience (ish), and someone who loves them through the days of bin fire chaos and lukewarm coffee, reheated for the third time!
9. Be kind to yourself
Yes, things will shift. The sleep gets better. The chaos takes new shapes. But don’t wait for some magical “easier” phase before giving yourself credit.
You’re raising a whole human. That’s big work.
And no, the demands of parenting won’t ever stop (especially being the designated snack provider!) but your capacity to handle it all grows.
You won’t get everything right and you don’t need to. Let go of perfect.
Be as kind to yourself as you are to them.
This blog on the emotional weight of sleep struggles is worth a read if you need a reminder that you're not alone in feeling this way.
10. Believe in yourself
You’re the expert on your baby. Not Google. Not the mother-in-law. Not that stranger on Instagram.
You.
You’re doing better than you think - way better!
And always, always, trust your instincts - more than any expert (yes, even me).
Because your instincts won’t let you down. They’ve been there since day one.
And they’re stronger than you know.
Final Thoughts
The early years are a lot. They stretch you, crack you open, fill your heart and completely frazzle your brain. And just when you think you’ve got it figured out? It all changes again.
Some days feel endless. Some fly by in a flash.
There’ll be moments where nothing seems to be going right and that’s normal.
Babies grow. Toddlers shift gears. And just when you’ve found a rhythm, the beat changes.
If your toddler drew on the dog and peed in your shoe—laugh. Or cry. Or both. Then tell a friend. These stories are gold one day (even if they don’t feel like it now).
If you’re still in the thick of it, thinking, “This is hard,” that’s because it is.
It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re doing the work.
You won’t fix everything in a day—no one does. Just focus on what’s in front of you.
And remember: you don’t have to do it alone.
Free Masterclass Invite
Want to feel more confident in those early years?
Join me for a free masterclass:
"Five Ways You Can Best Support Your Child In The Early Years"
(No flashcards in sight!)
🗓️ Thursday 5th June
🕗 8:00 PM (UK time) via Zoom
Can’t make it live? No worries - you’ll be sent the replay afterwards.
You’ll walk away with practical, connection-first strategies that actually make a difference.
When you sign up, you’ll also be added to the waitlist for Raising Wild Ones Club - my brand-new membership for parents in the thick of it during those first five years.
And if you decide to jump when doors open as a founding member you’ll get a very special rate, and one lucky person on the waitlist will win a free 1:1 session with me.
